14 ways to spot Fuckboys…

Sadly, we now live in a world where we’ve all become easily replaceable. This, my little Samazons, has created the throw-away society, which in turn has spawned the “fuckboy”.   A fuckboy is a boy who you fuck and you ultimately fuck off, honey! You’re in charge.

Fuckboys are not for long term investments, but some of them try to hang around you longer, so girls need to be aware when a man is legit and when he’s just a fuckboy.  You don’t get to control the fuckboy.  With his tinder app and bullshit copy / paste, these boys are making honesty the new romance. Meanwhile you’re left wondering what the fuck you did wrong, in short, NOTHING, its not you, its HIM!
Your only problem is that you have been allowing it to happen for way too long. Here are my tips on how to spot them and minimise the time you have to deal with them…

1. Overly grandiose gestures from the start – I’ve spoken to many fuckboys who tell me this is a great way to get a woman into bed on a first or second date. These fuckboys are proud of how they can get a woman into bed so quickly! They make it EXTRA so that you can be their trophy, then they’ll slowly fade away into NOTHING 🔪 🔪 🔪.

2. Hollow words – they will promise you the world and deliver fuck all. Words mean fuck all if they’re not backed up by reaffirming actions. They need to be consistent and it needs to be persistent, not just a one-off.

3. Love bombing – The fuckboy comes on strong with over the top gestures and acts of affection. This is all done in a weak, pathetic attempt to try and confuse you (Girls, we are smarter than this… don’t fall for his shit!) and make you think he’s the “one”. When really all he wants to do is get his fucking shrimp dick wet.

4. He asks for pics – A smart fuckboy won’t just ask directly for a picture of your tits, he’ll test the water and be like “Do you have any more pics baby?” (Although you’ve got a fuckton of hot selfies on Instagram) Are you deaf, dumb and blind?!

5. He’ll perpetually be “too busy” – When a boy says he’s “too busy” what he really means is he can’t be fucked. A decent boy will always make time for a woman he’s properly interested in. If he’s too busy for you he’s most likely sitting at home, drinking beer with his equally fuckhead friends, playing video games, and jerking off. Nobody goes to the bathroom for THAT long, think about it. Move on, he doesn’t deserve your attention!

6. He uses sexual innuendos – This is fucking weak… if you’re going to say something, then just fucking say it. Also, they really aren’t funny! Stop laughing, they’re not! Fuckboys will use them and add a pathetic “lol” after, no no, he meant it. Don’t condone it, and also know that he’s just testing the waters and ultimately how far he can push you.

7. He’s vague about his intentions – When you ask a simple question such as “what are we?” expect a simple answer like “you’re my girlfriend” as soon as he starts elaborating and saying everything apart from what you want to hear then that is a big fuckboy red flag.

8. Basic bitch little lies – BITCH! Little lies become bigger lies, which usually hide big questions that fuckboys don’t want to answer. There’s a reason that men in general like to tell little lies. They’re simple, basic bitches.

9. He shields you on social media – adds you on social media to gain your trust and then he will monitor what you do on his account. He’ll never like your photos or he’ll like 1 out of every 15. He’ll delete your comments because those comments can be seen by his next victim. Basically he doesn’t want you cock blocking him on the next one.

10. He constantly tests your mood and sexual appetite – One way of doing this will be with the innuendos as mentioned above. He’s covertly asking if what he’s doing or saying is acceptable. Each time pushing your boundaries a little further.

11. Booty call hour texts – He’ll ask “What are you up to?” at prime cunting hours like 2am… 🤦🏻‍♀ what do you think I’m fucking doing?! Don’t even think about entertaining these kinds of messages, unless of course you know the fucker well enough and are happy to… Just be aware he’s probably six pornos deep, drunk, laying on his unwashed, non-Egyptian cotton sheets (Ewwww) wanking into his dirty socks.

12. He keeps you hidden from the world – Like shielding you on social media, some fuckboys will want to keep you a secret in real life too. This could be because he fucks a different woman every week or that he’s ashamed of you. Either way you’re better than this and him, NEXT!

13. He’s general and sporadic with his texts – like “good morning baby”, “how are you?”, “sweet dreams beautiful” these are generic as fuck and they’re sent to many women at once. This is a great way to breadcrumb multiple women at once.

14. Generic small talk – He doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself other than small talk or just dirty talk like “what are you wearing?”. Really? Are we back in the 9th grade? When a man is interested he will want to know all about you, and if you’ve had a shit day he will want to know why. To help bolster the above you should make sure his intent matches yours, let him know you’re not easy, make sure he is consistent and remains persistent, not just as a one-off, with actions matching words.

My final piece of advice, trust your female intuition. A woman’s intuition is the gift that you should never go against.

In conclusion, fuck off the fuckboy, Totes not worth it boo, Bye Bitch!

XOXO Samee